apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
