U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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