she was so not down for the gang bang
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
