I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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