no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
