umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
