I can't watch pbs sober anymore
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
