After last night, I could never be a politician.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
