I wish i was in the wii world.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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