Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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