i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize