PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
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