Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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