How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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