I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
