Only a mothe r could love this liver
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
