First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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