Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
