i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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