just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
