so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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