I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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