she takes plan B like it's going out of style
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
