wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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