There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize