dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
