you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I don't think brook has ever known best
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
