My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
