If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
