I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
