I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
