would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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