Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
