Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
