you win again, gameday.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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