Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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