maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
accomplished twins. life is a go
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
