I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Alive.
So much puke
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
