Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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