Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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