the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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