we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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