I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
