do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
