and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
