I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
