She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
