rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
