Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
