The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
