So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
