Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
