why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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