Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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