Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He better not be in your backpack
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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