Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
