Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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