found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize