it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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