Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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