Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My ass is underappreciated
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
