i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
