and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
In America we eat man semen.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
