worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
