we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
