Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
