Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
